First up, you turn your ticket over to the Ticketmaster to hop on The Nervous Spinner. Be prepare because this ride is going to make you feel easily agitated and anxious. The ride has ended, and now comes the Anxiety Loop. Even before you step on the ride, you feel worried and uneasy despite the Ticketmaster and your friends telling you that it will be ok. The ride has finally stopped, and your not so sure about this side of the park, but you can’t seem to get your mind to slow down and breathe.
Welcome to the Fear Monster Park
Lilye Waters • Feb 09, 2023
Fear is an emotion that builds up in intensity. When you think about intensity, what comes to mind? Exercise, spicy levels when eating something hot, or a roller coaster ride at a theme park?
I think of a very intense ride at the coolest theme park filled with mini-parks full of the most insane rides you can imagine. Let me give you a visual so think about this…
You are at the ticket line to ride a series of rides in the Fear Monster Park. The Ticketmaster is waiting to explain that the rides will go to how your fear will intensify.
Next up is The Dread Drop, and apprehension is exploding in your body with a significant amount of fear only intensifying. You on the ride at the top, and within split seconds, you have dropped. Your body is numb, but you make your way without thinking to The Desperation Express. Desperately you want off, but there is nowhere to go, and the hope of getting off does not seem like an option? You stay to the order of rides getting on the Desperation Express only to be dropped into the seat of The Horror Villa Train. At this point, there is an intense feeling of fear, shock, and possibly disgust because you didn’t see what the previous rollercoaster would bring you too. The intensity is off the charts, and you are stuck and paralyzed. The Ticketmaster tells you, “there’s only one way in and one way out,” pointing to the Terror Scream.
Life is full of ups and downs, wildly unexpected twists and turns, and intensity of emotions. Life is a rollercoaster ride. The Fear Monster park, while written as an example to describe the intensity cycle of fear, is as real as you and I breathing air. When we put ourselves in the Fear Monster Park, we were riding the intensity of where fear starts and where fear ends. Just like a roller coaster pushes you forward and backward, the intensity of fear can lead to the terror of “what-if,” “what next,” “what will,” and so forth.
On November 23, 2020, I had an appointment with the Genetics doctor. With cancer on my mom’s side and some issues on my dad’s side, it makes sense to have a cancer heredity genetics test completed. It’s truly a scary feeling to know that cancer has taken its hit on every person in your mom’s immediate family, and you can only wonder, are you next, is my brother next, is my cousin next, and so on. The Fear Monster has been visiting, and my friends, the monster is as real as the air you and I breathe.
It is now a few weeks, and I am waiting for the results. As I am waiting on the results, I have received my mom’s death certificate. We were told and under the impression that her primary death was from lymphoma. As I write this, I am honestly angry, sad, and baffled as the primary death based on her death certificate was cervical cancer. Yes, you read this correctly! How this could have been missed is honestly beyond me as I sat there reading “metastatic cervical cancer” and “years.” The thought of her primary death being cervical cancer blows my mind away, and the Fear Monster is looming over me. Her sister had ovarian cancer a few years back and brings me to the intensity that the fear cycle offers.
etting results am I ready? I am, and I am not. I stand at that theme park with tickets in my hand to begin the cycle of rides that the Fear Monster Park has to offer me, unfortunately. But, if I slow down there is a small peaceful voice, telling me God is greater than the highs and lows. That no matter what ups or downs come my way, God is bigger than it all, He is bigger than the Fear Monster, and His presence remains constant!
Joyce Meyer states it well, “Fear is Satan’s trick to keep us stuck, pushing doubt, insecurity, worry, and anxiety into our bodies and minds”. Satan is the Ticketmaster taking those tickets you are giving him to get into the Fear Monster Park and ride the rollercoaster of intensity that fear has to offer.
The apostle Paul learned this lesson when he said, “For when I am weak (human strength), then I am strong (drawing into God’s strength and presence) – 2 Corinthians 12: 10.
If we are not watchful of the temptation to let fear run rampant full of the intensity of what fear has to offer, our weakness can send us on The Nervous Spinner, The Anxiety Loop, The Dread Droop, The Desperation Express, The Horror Villa Train, and the Terror Scream.
I write this tonight hoping that in some way, if the Fear Monster is visiting you that this can help you relate and maybe help you avoid the temptation to jump on the circuit of rides the Fear Monster is offering you. I hope that perhaps rollercoaster # 1 does not lead to rollercoaster # 2 and so on. The Fear Monster will visit, but we can find ways to help us go from a state of fear to a state of calmness.
Here are some suggestions to help you manage FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real or Face Everything and Rise)
Understand these feelings are normal.
Give yourself a break; it’s normal to feel stressed out and overwhelmed. Trying to fight can only make us feel worse.
Don’t assume the worst.
Remember, what your mouth speaks often becomes your thoughts. Speak positively into
existence.
“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” In 2 Kings 6:17
Limit how much you look online.
The internet is easy to access and quick to get information. Ask yourself, does this apply to your situation, is it accurate, have they taken every variable into play that pertains to your situation? Journal, write down questions or concerns you have and follow-up.
Maintain your routine.
Keep your routine. Go about your day as you usually would. A routine can keep you on the ground versus in the clouds worrying. If you exercise, go exercise keep that routine. Working out or taking a walk will help you mentally and emotionally, doing the body good.
Look for your inner strength and give yourself positive affirmations daily.
Remember your strengths rather than your weakness that result in your fears. Give yourself positive affirmations – “I am strong,” “I am brave.” Find the happy place that gives you inner strength (i.e., shopping, praying with a friend, Bible Study, watching favorite movie/series on Netflix)
Pray.
It can be hard to pray when you are overwhelmed with fear. Sometimes, it is easier to call out to Jesus; if you have to say, Jesus, Jesus, and Jesus, every 10 mins it will help. If you can’t, ask a friend, family member to pray for you.
Lilye Waters
Lilye is inspired by her 20+ years of personal and professional experiences with the mission to encourage others to find beauty in the ashes and refuse to sink despite any obstacle. Lilye is a devoted mom, wife, and caseworker with years of experience in the social service field with emphasis on family and marriage, teaching, adoption, foster care, at risk youth, and mentoring young adults.
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God’s word, or do you allow negative things to be spoken over your life?
As we approach the Christmas Holiday, I find myself reflecting on the things I cherish most in life. My relationship with God and my family are my top priority. As I look around my home, I take moments to pause and thank God for all he his has given me. Each day goes by so quickly, and the time I share with my loved ones is precious. Through the good and the bad, through loss and new beginnings, I look to my help which comes from above, and I give thanks for my blessings. Through all we’ve endured I am grateful for my God’s word and his peace. No matter the circumstance, his words remain the same and he gives us direction on how to respond to every situation in life. In my home, there is a presence of love and peace. It’s cultivated through continuous prayers and the beauty of its decor which my mother is responsible for. My mom loves to decorate and during the Holiday season, she enjoys putting her hands to work displaying her talent for creating beautiful center pieces and other decorative items, throughout our home. For her grandchildren, and those who are kids at heart, we all enjoy seeing these works displayed and remembering the years of Christmas before. For me, I enjoy this part of the Holidays so much because I see the joy it brings. My mother spends this time setting up our home to welcome in others and enjoy what God has given us. Each of my parents strive to provide a place that welcomes all and when you enter our home, you become part of the family. We enjoy having others over to fellowship, laugh and talk about life. These simple acts of love are what I seek to continue to provide for my daughter as well. When I have the privilege of purchasing my first home, I want to abide there with this same peace. Without peace, it won’t feel like home and peace may seem to be a simple thing, but it has the greatest impact in life. As a mother, I take great pleasure in watching my child grow and seeing the goodness of God in her life. Children are filled with so much purity and honest love from God, and this is something I treasure. I don’t just treasure it, but I also take time to continue to teach my daughter of what it means to love and be kind. We don’t always get along with others, but we should show love and kindness. When my daughter tells me about her day, she often expresses frustration over some of the other children’s actions. I remind her, no matter how you are treated, always show love and kindness. I let her know it’s not okay to allow others to hurt or misuse you. I tell her to stand up for herself and remind her it matters how you respond to a situation. We all are works in progress and even though we may mess up by responding the wrong way, we can try to do better the next time and strive to show God’s love. This time of the year is a great reminder of just that. This Holiday season, my mission is to continue walking in love and peace. As the end of this year approaches, it is truly a good time to reflect on our relationship with God. We know this season is to celebrate the birth of Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. The best way to honor him is to draw near to him and his word. I look forward to stepping into a new year with an attitude of gratefulness. I know the plans and works God has for my life are greater than anything I can imagine. Ending this year only means the beginning of another. As I think about this, I am reminded of this scripture, Philippians 3:13-14, “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” With this, I am taking time to thank my God for living and dwelling in me. Without Him, I am no one and with Him I am everything! I don’t know what tomorrow brings and I understand tomorrow is not promised to any of us. For this reason, I live each day asking my God to dwell in me and I read His word. As I renew my mind through His word, I am strengthened to walk as child of God, and everything set before me is in His hands. This gives me great hope for my future and days yet to come. I am stirred in my spirit because I feel my God calling me to move closer to Him. This world is ever changing and the evil we see will not cease until His return. It is up to use to press in and look to our God for direction in all we do. We cannot remain the same, but we must grow in God and allow him to set up his perfect love in our lives. In doing this, we make our steps as his righteous children and separate ourselves from the ways of this world. As he pours into our hearts a new hope, we use his word to tell others of the good news and keep ourselves covered in His presence, walking victoriously throughout the rest of our lives. As I write this, I am overwhelmed by his goodness and mercy, that he would yet again look down on me and give me words to speak! I cannot explain how it feels to know God is moving in your heart. It is a feeling of joy, love, and peace. I am excited for what God is doing in my life and I urge you to press in so you can tap into his presence! For each of you reading this I wish you love and great peace. As you spend this time with family and friends, remember our Lord and make time to give Him thanks. As for me, I am confident in this, I am blessed beyond measure because I seek the one who has it all! I know where my help comes from and because of this I can walk in hope. When I think about his good and all he's done for me, this joy that I feel is hard to contain!
When you read God's word and spend time meditating and praying you ignite a spark!
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